Blagowocky

‘Twas graftig, and the sheckeled bloobs
Did girb and schlurple in the styght
All tizzled were the Strogenoobs
And the patrolls amplrite

“Beware the Blagowock, my son!
The wheels that deal, the outstretched claws!
Beware the Rimidali, shun
The frolloped Madiggauze

He took his lexic sword in hand:
Long time the moptor foe he sought—
So rested by the Beanbon tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in spitzled thought he stood,
The Blagowock, with mouth of bombs,
Came jockling through the tappy wood,
And yortled with its floms!

One, two! One two! and through and through
The lexic blade went testi-tack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went perseuning back.

“And hast thou slain the Blagowock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O futric day! Halloo Vanay!”
He chortled in his joy.

‘Twas graftig, and the sheckeled bloobs
Did girb and schlurple in the styght
All tizzled were the Strogenoobs
And the patrolls amplrite

My Love is Like a Red Red Rose

My love is like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June
My love is like [WHO THE BLEEP ARE YOU TALKING TO?]
That’s sweetly played [IS THAT YOUR BLEEPING LAWYER?]

As fair as thou, my bonnie lass,
So deep in [YOU TELL THAT SONUVABLEEP TO QUIT MAKING A JACKASS OF HIMSELF ON TV]
And I will love thee still, my dear
Till a’ the [WHAT THE BLEEP ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT]

Till a’ the [NOBODY UNDERSTANDS A BLEEPING WORD YOU SAY ANY MORE]
And the rocks melt wi’ the sun
And I will love thee still, my dear
While [IS THAT ANOTHER BLEEP-BLEEP BLEEPING POEM?]

And fare the weel, my only [BLEEP]
And fare the weel a while!
And I will come again, [I’M BLEEPING OUTA HERE]
Thou’ it were [SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY BLEEPING DAD]