As Seen on TV

Good Morning America!
How do you do?
It’s great to see all of you
Here on The View

I have so much to say
And a story to tell
A brand new perspective
Perhaps I can sell

Who here reminds you
Of history’s great martyrs?
Cmon, need a hint?
Well, try me out, for starters

They’ll yank me from office
And lock me up tight
My thanks for devoting
My life to your plight

I fought for your freedom,
A selfless, good fella
You’ve seen nothing like it
Since Nelson Mandela

Like Dr. King, Ghandi
And all of those guys
I give, ‘cause I must
Seeking justice, my prize

And those who attack me,
With wicked zeitgeist
Would no doubt do likewise
To good Jesus Christ

I can’t overstate it,
The stakes we face here
The civilized life we
Once knew, Disappeared!

My friends, I’m afraid
you can see where we’re headen
A fate worse than death
A complete Armageddon

But you can do your part
To keep hope alive
For just two easy payments
Of $9.95

Give to Friends of Blagojevich
Please, friends, dig deep.
Cause these lawyers and PR guys,
They don’t come cheap

Yes, we must stick together
Keep evil at bay
Fight for justice and truth,
And The Chicago Way

The Lonely Cowboy

On the great western plains of Illinois
Rides a man, alone. A sad cowboy
By the damnest damn lies were ever contrived
He’s hunted and wanted: dead or alive.

From the streets of Laredo to Springfield’s Dome
There ain’t noplace nowhere that he can call home
So he huddles by campfires and warbles his songs
And tries not to think of the ways he’s been wronged.

Now old Sheriff Ellis and all of his pals
Assemble their posse at Senate Corral
Collecting their feathers and boiling their tar
And hangin their rope from the town’s highest bar

A shadow’s come over our Cowboy’s creased face
Since mean frontier justice took over this place
Cause after his hangin, and he’s in the dust
Ain’t no one to stop ‘em from comin at us.