The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Governor that day
The feds, the House, the papers all were screaming "Pay to Play!"
The criminal charges had been filed, impeachment, moving too
And everyone was wondering just what would Blago do?
The calls for resignation came, a mighty, rising din
From Madigan and Durbin Jesse White and even Quinn
But when the man himself spoke out, we knew the Gov was sunk.
Obama said to “step aside,” so time to pack your trunk.
When Blago called his press conference, we knew the time had come.
This had to be the moment he’d ride off into the sun.
With TV cameras humming and reporters in a rage
Blagojevich, in battle coif stepped up onto the stage.
“My fellow citizens,” he spoke, “I know that you’re in pain.
“Our state is in grave danger and no more will I refrain.”
“Just one thing now can save us, there is now only one ointment.”
“You’ll be relieved to hear, I’ve made my Senate seat appointment.”
The air was thick was tension, even silencing the corps
The only sounds, a couple unhinged jaws hitting the floor
“Our great State needs a Senator, so without more ado”
His steely eyes speak unspoke words: “I’m doing this for you.”
“I give you Roland Burris” Blago solemnly intoned
And paused to let the words sink in, while Illinoisans moaned
“A man of great integrity, of judgment pure and sound,”
“And frankly, he’s the only guy who didn’t turn me down.”
“But look who’s here, I’m shocked, I’m stunned, a very special guest.”
“You must come up at once to speak (we’re really very blessed)”
“Come, don’t be shy, now Bobby Rush, step up onto the stage.”
“And tell us what you have to say, O great, elected Sage.”
So Bobby stepped up to the mic and coolly viewed the crowd
He summoned all the righteousness with which he’d been endowed
With smoldering eyes and presence strong, he looked into our faces
Said, “better support Burris or you’re just a bunch of racists”
Invoking Selma, Birmingham, he pitched another bomb
“opposing Roland Burris means you’re just an Uncle Tom”
“The Senate needs a man of color, needs you to do right by”
“(Who cares that when Obama ran, I voted for some white guy)”
Then Blago sauntered off the stage, his hand brushed back his hair
I could have sworn I saw his middle finger in the air
But poor old Roland’s title, it was not yet set in stone.
The august Senate, not amused, could not this taint condone
When Jesse White refused to be the paper’s guarantor
The Senators, they took the cue to Katy-bar the door
“We’re sorry,” said the Senators, “no taint allowed in here”
Then took their oaths of office and each smiled from ear to ear.
But taint, cannot disqualify, it’s not a fatal flaw
Nobody in the Senate, seems, had stopped to read the law.
They bade him to come in, never admitting they were wrong
With Reid and Durbin saying they both liked him all along
And so, the Land of Lincoln got two Senators at last
And our Trail Blazer’s got another line to mark the past
A man with so much baggage, will he ever be effective?
To Blago, he’s already served his only real objective
Yes, somewhere in our fabled land, the people are contented
Their governments are working, more or less they’re represented
And somewhere civic pride is shining like an ivory tower
Some have suggested that I say "with apologies to Earnest Thayer." I say, Fµ¢< 'em.
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